Women are natural nurturers. It’s part of our essence. But what happens when a woman steps into the world of entrepreneurship? What happens to that instinct to care, tend, and put others first? This is a journey of understanding not just as women, but as humans navigating the complexities of relationships while stepping into our true mastery. Men don’t always appreciate the deference their spouse gives them! They might not even understand that deference is occurring!
Women’s ways are soft and receptive, in contrast to the action-driven nature of men. Yet, in entrepreneurship, we are called to merge these qualities, to be both the nurturer and the leader. A poignant example is Sheryl Sandberg, whose book Lean In recounts her journey to becoming the COO of Facebook.She shares that when considering the leadership job with Facebook, she reflected on the two jobs she was offered. Facebook certainly paid very well, but not as much as the other job at the much bigger company. Her husband, Dave Goldberg advised during these ruminations, “I’d rather be a big fish in a small pond, than a little fish in a big pond.” She listened, that’s deference.Her story is definitely one of immense resilience: navigating the loss of her husband, raising young children alone, and managing the demands of a high-powered career. Sandberg’s subsequent book, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, offers profound insights into overcoming hardship and stepping into strength.
Deference is the act of yielding to or respecting someone else’s authority, preferences or needs often out of respect, politeness, or cultural norms.
Deference is found commonly where a wife consistently defers to her husband’s opinion when making financial decisions, sometimes even when she disagrees! (If this is a persistent issue, steps need to be taken to address this.) For a husband, he might agree to his partner’s choice of vacation out of respect for their experience or preferences.Deference can be positive when it fosters respect, harmony, or collaboration. However, excessive deference can lead to self-neglect, imbalance in relationships, or the suppression of one’s voice and opinions.
As women, whether mothers, employees, or both, we inherently possess leadership qualities. The new CEO is a nurturer, bringing out the passion and vision of the company.Managing a family is no small feat—it’s a skillset that translates beautifully into business. But this leadership requires a new paradigm: one that honors both our needs and those of others. In the medical field, this is akin to triage—a systematic way of prioritizing to save lives. Similarly, we must learn to allocate our energy and resources effectively, starting with ourselves.
In my own life, I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. Even in my later years, I found myself practicing deference to my detriment. For years, I held back, hesitated, and allowed myself to recede into the background. I was single for 18 years, during which time I poured my energy into building my business. Then came a 10-year marriage where I mostly kept myself first—until old patterns crept back in. Now, in a thriving relationship (and marriage) with a brilliant man who adores me and challenges me to live to my highest standard, I see how easy it is to let deference take over. But I’ve made a choice: to step into my power and stop sacrificing my needs for others. Now we both practice deference, as appropriate, and balanced.
Deference, particularly among Baby Boomers and Generation X, often goes unnoticed by them. It’s subtle, almost invisible. Something as simple as skipping a bath or a spa day to accommodate family needs can become a pattern of self-neglect. But the time has come for us to reclaim our power, to be who we were meant to be. We are all part of humanity’s transformation, stepping into the golden age of the Satya Yuga.
For so many of us, supporting others—partners, children, parents—has meant putting our dreams on hold. But as any flight attendant will tell you: put your own oxygen mask on first. It’s not selfish—it’s essential. Only then can you fulfill the mission you came here to achieve.
I once read of an American Indian chief who asked an American general why there were no women in his army. “Women carry heavy loads, do more work, keep the men happy, and complain less than the men,” he said. His wisdom speaks to the underestimated strength of women, both in leadership and in life. Yet, we are often undervalued, as illustrated by a French entrepreneur who was asked if her husband would invest in her business before investors would consider backing her. These stories remind us that we must first invest in ourselves and change the programming that holds us back.
My journey as a mystic began as a single mom, raising three boys and supporting a fourth through college. I had no immediate family to lean on, physically or financially. These challenges were far more manageable because of the tools I’ve cultivated, like the Higher Self Protocol and meditation.Many of the meditations I created were initially for myself—tools to navigate my struggles. Only later, when friends found them helpful, did I ask my guides if they were meant to be shared with the world. The answer was always “yes.”
This path led me to found the St. Germain Mystery School and create the Illuminate app.
Illuminate isn’t just a meditation app; it’s a transformative tool for raising vibrations and stepping into the Satya Yuga. For less than the price of two coffees a month, you can access powerful meditations that have changed lives—including my own. The free version even includes essentials like the “Prayer Before Surgery” and “The Golden Bowl – Activating Your Sixth Sense.”If you have benefited, from these meditations, and app, please leave a positive review!
